Loneliness

I had the song-"Lonely, Im so lonely, Im Mr. lonely, I have nobody, to call my own" (by Akon) as ringtone for 3 years. At that time, I liked the way the child scream in this song. Few months back, realized the core feeling of loneliness, probably it was like-

Loneliness nibbles at night

The whole inside

Days too just pass by

Its hard to stay alright

Pain cannot be hide

Whom to care

Nobody to share

Remembering the past lies

With the tired eyes

Tears keep reeling

With an eternal feeling

I curse and curse and curse

Expecting much worse

To feel the same pain

Again and again

Sacrifices I made

Without being paid

Decisions were so wrong

Now regret is the only song

Emptiness prevails

And loneliness trails

And now it defines me

Crying over what I used to be

Smile has faded

With mind degraded

trusting nobody

Pushing me to be lonely

This path so empty

“Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.” 

― Honoré de Balzac

My soulmate

I got tickled pink, the feeling of overjoy I couldn't express, such was the euphoric moment

when he walked into my life

I become unknown to the pain and the worldly sufferings, such was the magical moment

when he walked into my life

I forgot about feasibility, I put aside the calculations of pros and cons

when he walked into my life

Years passed by as few moments, wishes became all real

when he stayed in my life

Then came the worst hour of my life

I built the palace of my expectations on his head

I blamed him.. I cursed him..

I almost ate his heart out, & somehow managed to push him away

I feared for this day

when he seemed to disappear from my life

As I blindly moved my hands, I could feel nothing, just dampness, such was the tragic moment

when he seemed to disappear from my life

I thought he had gone, I cried.. I wailed.. my eyes turned blurrier, I couldn't see him anymore

I called him, I couldn't hear him back

In despair, I sat down recollecting the flashes of our past, I fell asleep

Thinking he had gone from my life

In the dream, I felt his warmth, I was relieved.. Yet I said, "It is just a dream", and then the bubble just burst up

he pulled me in his arms to lie beside him.. I cried in the mad happiness..

when what seemed to me was not true, he was all here

Thrashing him for leaving me, for watching me heartlessly, silently..
 lost and looking for him madly..

He whispered in my ears, "bacha, that one hour was a nightmare"

I was speechless, stunned

when what seemed to me was not true, he was all here

I realized and making him realize, expressing through my tears..

How I never wanted to loose -my soulmate, even in the worst nightmare

I was overwhelmed

when he became the integral part of my life, when I understood the same from his silent eyes